1 John 1:8-9 ~~~ “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. “

This morning I got angry because the plans I’d made for the day were foiled.  I had carefully planned a day trip, which involved my hubby (which he had previously agreed to) and a visit to a family member, a pleasant lunch, and — using the car pool lane to drive the 70 miles through Los Angeles.  Over the weekend, however, Hubby made different plans unbeknownst to me, and declared that we would be having company at our house that morning.  

What? Had he forgotten MY plans? 

I stated (inwardly seething) that I would then go alone (suffer the congested traffic both ways) and HE could stay at home and meet HIS friends.  I did not, of course want him to agree, but he said eagerly, “Okay, if you are sure you don’t mind.”

Don’t mind?  YES, I minded, but I am stubborn of heart and stiff of neck. I oh-so-sweetly put my things in the car and backed out of the driveway. My heart was not loving and kind or happy. It was vindictive and petulant. I am sure I cut off several innocent drivers on the freeway and thought nasty thoughts about everyone for most of the hour and a half drive. It was only by God’s grace that I was not rewarded with a ticket or worse.

The visit was pleasant and by the time I left to come home I was almost over my grouchiness. I GUESS it had turned out okay, I thought reluctantly.   But later, when I sat down with my Bible for “quiet time” with my God, I knew it hadn’t.  The anger and petulance of the morning now stood between me and fellowship with Him, and I cried out in dismay.

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O my Father, I have sinned again today. I sin everyday, often. I am continually walking through mud puddles of sin; muck, dirt, dust, dung.  I try to avoid it, but I both blindly and willfully sin, like today.  Father I want to DIE to sin! I hate it, but I keep allowing my old sinful nature to reign.

I confess, I felt resentment and jealousy, and anger, and spite. But right now, I feel regret and sorrow for the words I spoke, for my foolishness and immaturity. Lord, I hate these sins!  I need washing!

I want to be loving sacrificially, as YOU love, not demanding my own way or pouting or going off in a huff. I want to be willing to be second place. Help me to humble myself and hate my selfishness.  May your spirit and Word rule in my life.

These are my sins, and many more. Just when I think I might be becoming more Christlike, I see that I am sinful and fleshly.  But, Father, YOU PROMISED that if I see my sins and agree with you about them and repent of them, that You will – for Christ’s sake – forgive me.

Christ’s death atoned for my sins – all of them – and satisfied Your wrath against me and them on the cross.  Even right now, You have said that He is interceding for me – pleading his own sacrificed blood before You for my sin. Cleanse me of these and all other unrighteousness you find in me – for His sake. As You promised.

I am standing on, depending on, this promise. As far as I understand Your Word, I am forgiven. My sins of this morning are wiped clean.  Thank You!

O keep these nasty “infections” from reoccurring again. (Oh, to be inoculated against sin!)  Holy Spirit, hit me upside my head when I begin to rebel! Word of God, permeate my dim wits and sound the alarm!  Father in heaven lead me, prod me, in the way that I should go and think and speak.

“Let the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.” ~~~ Psalm 19:14